how i create time for myself
We’ve all heard the jokes about moms taking time for themselves…in a bathroom…while peeing. Amirite?
And while I have always understood the value of carving out time for myself, I have always struggled to create it. Until recently. So I figured it might be worthwhile to share what has worked for me, in creating some highly elusive, and much-joked about “me time”.
It has taken endless conversations and several iterations to articulate my need for “me time”, but it wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t asked for it. And as much as I sometimes wish otherwise, Matt can’t read my mind. And his best intentions are not always executed in a way that I need. So, talk. it. out.
In light of COVID, having the kids home (all the time) and juggling work/school/this biz, we have settled on Tuesdays & Fridays, as well as early weekday mornings (🏋🏻♀️). That’s not to say that it won’t change, but this is our commitment right now, and it helps with planning, tempering expectations and creating structure.
𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀, 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀, 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀
I disappear. I will always help if needed, but generally speaking, Matt is on his own during “me time”. It isn’t fair to him or my kids to be hanging around, and not be helping out.
I don’t interfere, undermine or micromanage. Matt and I have created routines & expectations for the kids which are upheld, regardless of who is watching them. Everything in between (aka the small stuff) is an ever-changing balancing act, overseen by the available parent(s). During “me time”, it’s Matt. Plus, this shows that I trust and respect Matt as a parent.
This is obvious. Prioritizing “me time” benefits our family. And Matt knows it. He would never guilt me or resent me for taking this time, regardless of how challenging the kids may have been (and vice versa). I already struggle with mom-guilt - I don’t need it from Matt.
So that’s it. But don’t forget, these tips work for me and reflect my specific situation. Make them work for you.